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Brick by Brick part 1

Title: Brick by Brick 1/?
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1751
Warnings: major angst
Authors Note: ok, so about a month ago I wrote Reactions, which was an angsty little number about Tony seeing Gibbs kiss The ELB. I had more than one person ask for a follow up to "fix it". So...I wrote and I erased...and I wrote it again....and ended up erasing what I'd written again, and finally I wrote what I have now. I'm fairly proud of it, there's going to be more and I'll post it soon.


Gibbs should have done things differently, he knew that and regretted it. But the kiss and the following activities had been about pure need; Allison Hart had managed to crawl under his skin in a way that no woman ever had. He wanted to kill her and kiss her at the same time, so when faced with the choice he'd chosen the latter and not looked back. He hadn't realized until he'd woken the next morning to find her gone, leaving him with marks from her nails all down his back, just what he'd done. Gibbs hated cheaters, but somehow he'd become something akin to one and that thought sent a lead weight straight to his gut. And finding that disgusting Chinese food on is porch had sent the lead weight in his gut crashing to his feet, dragging his heart with it.


Tony hadn't mentioned it, and Gibbs had found himself too ashamed to even look at Tony. So he'd gone home that night and installed a lock, only to find Allison at his door 2 hours later with a defiant glare.


Sex with Allison Hart was nothing like sex with Tony. That was just a fact, and not just in the obvious way that Allison was a woman and Tony was a man; they were almost opposites in every way, they were completely different straight down to the way Gibbs felt after. Allison wasn't a strong woman physically, but when they had sex she practically fought with Gibbs; with bites and scratches and taking far more than she gave, and Gibbs found he came away from their encounters feeling accomplished but tired.


Tony may have been physically solid but he'd always been gentle, reverent almost; he'd let Gibbs take him gently and he'd always had this glint of something in his eyes while they'd had sex, something that Gibbs had always ignored. But Gibbs had always come away from those encounters feeling content, and almost comforted, which was something he knew Allison Hart could never give him.


But somehow he found himself allowing her in, and meeting her demanding kisses with his own; he'd woken the next morning alone again and feeling if anything worse. But he'd forced himself to go to work, and when confronted with a still half dead Tony he somehow managed to put up a reasonable recreation of his normal mood, hoping that it would somehow help.


It was obvious from the way that Tony flinched that it didn't help at all, which only made Gibbs feel worse. And he couldn't face Tony, not with that look in his eyes, so he made do with going to Ducky.


He tried not to think about the fact that he'd grown more accustomed to talking his problems out with Tony.


Ducky's response had been almost predictable; Gibbs knew he'd be upset but the sheer amount of anger Ducky had turned on him was surprising. Of course this was Ducky, so that anger hadn't manifested in the way most people would expect, but Gibbs knew his old friend well enough to recognize his hard gaze and the clipped dismissing tones. He'd managed to get the aging doctor so upset that he didn't even want to lecture Gibbs, which was a bad sign. But really that hadn't been why Gibbs had come to talk to him anyway.


“I need you to talk to him Duck, I can't.”


Ducky's almost snappish, “Of course I'm going to talk to him Jethro. The poor boy needs a friendly ear and since you're too much of a.....” The elder man had stopped and composed himself, “You should go Jethro. We'll discuss this once I am able to measure the damage you've wreaked on the poor lad.” So Gibbs had gone.


And when Allison knocked that night he tried not to answer the door, but he did.


So time passed, and it was Monday and Tony was back with that outrageous grin. But Gibbs could see the dark circles under his eyes and there was just something off about the younger man, so he went to see Ducky.


Which had been a mistake, because the elder doctor was in no mood to deal with him. Apparently he'd seen Tony too, and was just as worried. “Yes, of course I talked to him Jethro! And no he didn't want to talk about it, unsurprisingly enough. And no matter how many times he tells me it wasn't serious, it's obvious from the way he's acting that it was very serious and I'll be damned if I'll let him pickle his liver over this...” He sighed before shaking his head, “You should go Jethro. Don't worry. In fact it might be best for you to just not even think about this as long as Ms. Hart is in your bed.”


That night when Allison knocked on his door he didn't want to answer it but he did anyway. And a few weeks passed that way, and slowly Tony stopped coming in stinking of alcohol but he still couldn't meet Gibbs' gaze and Gibbs couldn't stop answering his door.


Then Fornell was there, and they were drinking after their case and talking. And inevitably the discussion got around to sex, and suddenly Gibbs found himself laying the whole thing out there for Tobias. Gibbs rarely talked about how he was feeling, but he'd been bothered by Tony's non-looks and Allison's smirks for almost a month now and he was at a loss as to what to do; and the half bottle of Jack he'd managed to get through didn't hurt.


The other man had just stared at him at first, and then laughed. And didn't stop laughing for a good long while, which Gibbs found more than slightly insulting but he let it go. Tobias had finally calmed down and had just begun saying “Sorry, but you're such a noble son of a bitch that hearing you tell me all that was completely out of left field! But...”


Then there was a knock at the door and Gibbs swore. Loudly. Before finally managing to lever himself up and make his way to the front door.


Tobias grinned, “So to meet this lady?”


He stopped grinning when Allison Hart strode past Gibbs and into the living room with a sneer. “I see it's boys night in.”


Gibbs felt himself heave a sigh, “You could say that. I suppose.”


She wrinkled her nose, “You reek of alcohol. And I don't do threesomes. Not with men that look like that. So I'll see you another night Gibbs.”


Gibbs didn't even react, he just watched her leave and locked the door behind her before tiredly making his way back to the sofa. Where a slightly shell shocked Tobias sat, “Hell Jethro, that isn't even a lady! That's a rattlesnake that you're letting hiss at you, I'd sooner sleep with Diane again then let her in my bed.” He suddenly turned and shot Gibbs an incredulous look “You left DiNozzo, for that?


Gibbs stared at him for a few seconds before shaking his head, “Tony and I weren't in a relationship we were having sex.”


Tobias leveled a look at Gibbs and Gibbs couldn't meet his eyes, “You aren't built like that. You know it, I know it, hell I bet DiNozzo knows it. You don't half ass things so you can't honestly sit there and tell me that you weren't in a relationship with DiNiozzo, because even if you didn't call it that in so many words you were.”


Gibbs blinked, “Well Shit.”


“Yeah, 'Shit' is about right! You cheated on DiNozzo with that hag.”


And suddenly the lead weight, who'd become a close personal companion in the past few weeks, was suddenly back and Gibbs felt floored. “Oh Shit.”


Tobias hummed agreeably and took another gulp of his Jack, “The question now is are you going to keep answering your door.”


Gibbs didn't answer, but the next night when he was sitting in the basement and heard the almost too predictable knock at the door he didn't move. He was too busy attempting to figure out how he'd approach Tony, or if he even should, and that's when Gibbs decided he needed to talk to Abby.


She wasn't happy. Then again, Gibbs was fairly sure that he deserved her yelling at him and throwing various toys from her desk at him, in fact he was fairly sure he deserved a lot more than that so he just stood there and took it. And when she finally stood there glaring at him, she was breathing heavily but she managed to gasp out “So Gibbs what are you gonna do to fix this.”


It wasn't a question, and Gibbs felt himself sigh, “Can I fix it Abby? I want to. But I dunno if I can.”


Abby tilted her head slightly, “You really want to fix this?” Gibbs nodded, and she shook her head. “It'll be hard bossman, really hard. And you wont like what you have to do.”


Abby, I'd do anything to fix this.” And Gibbs meant it.


“Then you have to talk to Tony. And be prepared for him to say no, and to keep trying even if he does. Because fixing this kind of break doesn't just happen, you have to work at it.” Her tone was final and as Gibbs' drifted back to his desk in the bullpen he realized it was true.


Watching Tony he realized he had broken something, he hadn't meant to but he had. He wanted to fix it, more than he'd ever wanted to fix those broken marriages and that meant he'd have to work at it.


Tony was different now, Gibbs knew that. He knew it'd be the most difficult thing he'd ever done to ask Tony to forgive him, but he also knew that Tony was only the second person that Gibbs had ever felt this way about. He'd lost Shannon but he would be damned if he let himself lose Tony as well. So as he raised his fist to knock on Tony's door later that evening he mentally rallied himself, he had to be prepared to make it up to him in any way Tony wanted. Even if that meant in the end, letting him go.


But Gibbs really didn't want to think about that.


( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 3rd, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
OMG!!! Angst-o-rama!!! I LOVE IT! And now I hate the ELB ever so much more...and I didn't think that was possible.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 05:05 am (UTC)
xD Yay~! I'm glad you love it. And I'm pretty sure my feelings about the ELB can be accurately summed up with the statement "KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

>_> Not that I feel strongly about it or anything.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 01:14 am (UTC)
Wow that was intense.

I feel with Tony. I want to hug him and give Gibbs a good kick in the ass AND a headslap for good measure.

How could he do that to Tony? Poor baby.

I´m looking forward to the next chapter...hopefully soon.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 05:10 am (UTC)
Gibbs is having a issues at the moment. He will be dealing with that.

It will be soon, I'm already writing it and I like what I'm doing. =] Should be up tomorrowish if i'm lucky.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 01:38 am (UTC)
Oooooh!! Love it so far - more more more soon!!!
Mar. 3rd, 2010 05:11 am (UTC)
Oh, Thanks~! I'm happy you're enjoying it. There will be more, and soon. ;] working on it now.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 02:56 am (UTC)
First: THANKS! I'm so happy you're going to fix "this".

Second: You have a great feel for these characters and I love how you are using them. I love that Ducky is ticked off at Gibbs and is trying to take care of DiNozzo. I love Fornell laughing at Gibbs and telling him he does nothing half-assed. Perfection!

Third: As much as I know Tony is hurting, I'm glad you didn't focus on his pain. You'll have plenty of time to do that as time goes on and Jethro needed to be kicked in the ass this chapter.

Lovely, lovely, lovely! Thanks for sharing.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 05:14 am (UTC)
First: Thank you! =] I'm so happy you're reading it.

Second: Thank you again~! It awesome to know that you like how I'm writing them.

Third: I agree wholeheartedly, you'll get to see a lot of Tony's pain because I didn't want to give this an easy fix.

And again, Thanks for commenting. =3
Mar. 3rd, 2010 03:04 am (UTC)
Ouch doesn't even begin to touch the pain here. Wow. Part of me can't help but wonder if Gibbs didn't turn to the evil bitch because he KNEW he was in deep with Tony and it scared the piss out of him. I'd *almost* feel sorry for him except that the depth of hurt he has shoveled onto Tony is such that some folks never really recover from. :-( I adore that it's Tobias who makes him see the light! "You left DiNozzo for that?" Pretty much my reaction too.

Shame on you, Jethro. You'll be damned lucky if Tony takes you back! Damned lucky he's still working for you. *hugs Tony*

You mentioned more? Soon, maybe??? :)
Mar. 3rd, 2010 05:22 am (UTC)
;] Can't say yet; but yes. Tobias was convenient to go "wtf are you doing?" And Tony....is too Tony to leave the job, can't make any promises about taking Gibbs back though.

There will be more, and it will be soon. =3
Mar. 3rd, 2010 03:22 am (UTC)
Great ...I can't wait to see Gibb's approach. I hope Tony makes him work very hard first.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 05:23 am (UTC)
Tony will make him work exceedingly hard, and not just at first. For a long while. Because Gibbs might be awesome, but Tony is too. =] Happy you like it! =D
(no subject) - twilightseeker3 - Mar. 3rd, 2010 11:39 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 3rd, 2010 03:39 am (UTC)
Excellent sequel, I love everyone's voice, but Fornell nailed it! Loved "Yeah, 'Shit' is about right! You cheated on DiNozzo with that hag.” Sing it baby!

Am I the only one who wants a strange (stranger to Gibbs I mean) no make that a really, really hot stranger to answer Tony's door? Why is Gibbs the only one with opportunities...extra points if Tony thinks s/he's 'just a friend' but Jethro can tell s/he wants more. Our kicked puppy is still a damned hawt Tony, so I'd like there to be some face saving/competition aspect maybe, because you just know there are people out there just waiting-out this Tony and his crush thing.

Sorry about that, my bunnies were jumping. You write whatever you want, this is excellent so far. Thank you for sharing, I'm off for a second read!
Mar. 3rd, 2010 06:04 am (UTC)
I don't think that's exactly what will happen, but you're on the right track! =D Glad you're enjoying.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 03:40 am (UTC)
o_0 The angst...the angst. I need more of this and quickly. Brilliant first chapter.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 06:07 am (UTC)
Thanks! =D More will be soon!
Mar. 3rd, 2010 05:08 am (UTC)
the very good news: the punch it packs the second time 'round is as brutal as the punch packed the first time. the very bad news: now we want more. :)
Mar. 3rd, 2010 06:08 am (UTC)
Thanks hun. =3
Mar. 3rd, 2010 06:01 am (UTC)
This was amazing! I can't wait for more.... :)
Mar. 3rd, 2010 06:08 am (UTC)
Thanks! =D
Mar. 3rd, 2010 08:56 am (UTC)
Love this continuation. Can't wait to see what happens next. Poor Tony!
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 3rd, 2010 11:53 am (UTC)
You know...part of me doesn't actually want Tony to take Gibbs back. I mean, seriously, how do you forgive and forget such a blatant betrayal? Even if he can forgive it he's not going to forget that Gibbs went for the nasty lawyer---not once but repeatedly. And the lock on the door kept Tony at bay, but not the lawyer. That, that makes me want to see the man have to grovel, to work to regain what he so callously threw away.

I am looking forward to more, regardless of which way you go with it.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 12:14 pm (UTC)
That was great.
Mar. 3rd, 2010 06:45 pm (UTC)
Yay a sequel I like Abby throwing toys at him but I do hope Bert didn't get hurt if he was one of them hehe.
I've just watched Mothers Day where SHE cropped up again she really needs to be burned at the stake *shudders* hope you can update soon.
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( 33 comments — Leave a comment )