ashbear02 (ashbear02) wrote,

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Title: Awareness
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2122
Summary: Aaron Hotchner never thought he'd fall in love again...
Authors note: Omg~! My second CM fic! o_0 And this is definitely developing into a series, which is silly. xD Lemme know what you think yea? I'm actually kind of enjoying this! =3

Follows Expectation


Aware [uh-wair]


  1. having knowledge; cognizant: aware of danger

  2. informed; alert; knowledgeable; sophisticated

    Related Forms:

    a-ware-ness, noun


Aaron Hotchner has never thought he'd fall in love again after Haley because they met in high school, gotten married, and created a child together. If that couldn't keep two people together he didn't know what could, and he continued to think that way for a very long time. Then the divorce happened, and then Foyet happened; and suddenly he found himself a single father with a broken heart and a dead ex-wife. So he'd resigned himself to spending the rest of his life pining after Haley, watching their son grow, and revenging her death with every murderer he sent to jail.


Which is how he found himself sitting across from David Rossi nursing a glass of red wine on one of the few weekends the team had off and thanking whatever god was listening that Jack hadn't fought being sent to bed early too much, which he supposed was the beauty of a toddler not knowing how to read an analogue clock.


His relaxed, if slightly melancholy, mood vanished when his friend had the audacity to interrupt his rant about their last case with a simple, “So when are you going to make a move on Reid?”


And then for the first time in a long time Aaron Hotchner was shocked speechless by something that had nothing to do with a rape, murder, or shooting. His indignant “What?” didn't lend any credibility to his hastily constructed dignified air.


Rossi snorted into his wine glass before studying his friend, “Don't what me, I've watched you around Reid. I'm not blind. When are you finally going to get your head out of your ass and do something about it?”


Aaron choked this time and he found himself fighting hysterical laughter, “I have no idea what you're talking about. At all.”


Rossi just gave another snort, “All right, if you say so. Don't come crying to me when Morgan has the poor kid all set up with some “bodacious blonde” and you're left to wonder for the rest of your life. I'm going to go home, I'd wager you have some thinking to do.”


Aaron muttered something along the lines of “Morgan would never use the word bodacious, he'd say smokin or hawt” and watched his friend leave. He spent the next several hours attempting to convince himself David Rossi was secretly on drugs, and that was why the other man had randomly started talking nonsense. He went to bed slightly drunk and still wondering if the other man's poison of choice was pot or acid, and how he'd manage to confront the other man with his suspicion.


The actual moment of awareness didn't come until the following Monday when he glanced up and spotted Reid smiling at something Garcia was saying as he turned on the coffee maker and finally it struck him, and Aaron was floored. So much so that he was still staring when Reid turned around, blinked, and asked if something was on his face. Aaron mutters something and finds himself fleeing, he's left flummoxed and almost shaking in his office wondering when the hell he'd developed feelings for Reid and how on earth he'd managed not to notice.


An hour later he's hot on Rossi's trail as the other man strolls into his office. His friend doesn't even raise an eyebrow he just nods and says, “If I thought you'd figure it out that easily I'd have said something a year ago.” And Aaron is still reeling too much from the sudden raw awareness of his own feelings to take any offense.


That evening Aaron is forced to examine how he feels, he's comfortable enough with himself to acknowledge that he has felt attraction to men before. But none of those men were Doctor Spencer Reid, and those brief appreciations for a faceless man's ass or abs were nothing compared to the wave of emotion he'd felt when Reid had grinned.


Of course he couldn't do anything those feelings but that didn't mean he didn't have them, and he'd never been in this position before so he felt completely out of his element and uncertain. Aaron needed to have another talk with Rossi; find out just what had given away his feelings and what the other man was convinced he should do. Since his old friend had obviously said something for a reason, David Rossi never did anything without reason. But glancing at his wristwatch he knew the other man was probably long in bed by then, so he forced himself to check on Jack and go to bed himself.


He heard a small gasp as he left biting kisses along a smooth angular jaw and again as he smoothed his hands down a long torso before gently tracing sharp hipbones and allowing his hands to come to rest at the small curve of his partners lower back. He met dilated brown eyes and allowed himself to lean in and press a kiss against the expressive mouth before pulling the younger man down with him and...


Aaron Hotchner felt himself jolted back to reality by a loud, rude ringtone that had nothing to do with the dream he'd been in the middle of. After a short conversation with JJ on the phone he hung up and glanced down at himself with a wince, it seemed that now he'd crossed the threshold of awareness there was no turning back. He frowned resolutely before leaving his warm bed to take a very cold shower and make arrangements for his son. Within the hour he was sitting on the jet studiously not looking at the young man across the aisle who'd played a starring role in his very inappropriate dream.


It was easy enough for Aaron to quash the new awareness of how his young co-worker moved his hands animatedly, how his brows furrowed slightly every time he was met with a puzzle, how he pouted outrageously when Morgan teased him, and the urge to reach out and brush the hair from Spencer's face over the next two days.


But when the case was all said and done and the unsub was being interrogated by Morgan and Reid and somehow managed to grab Spencer's wrist, Aaron felt himself rise out of his chair in the observation room angrily and Rossi pulled him back down with a wry “Down boy.” Aaron should have been insulted by that but he was too busy fighting the urge to murder the man that Morgan was currently reading the riot act. “Seriously Hotch, if you don't want everyone to know, you need to get a handle on this.” That statement got Aaron's attention, and he turned to face his friend.


Rossi didn't bother to take his eyes off the suspect, “Seriously man, you've been freaking Morgan and Prentiss out all day; and the poor kid can't decide what your angry at him for. Relax a bit, Morgan isn't actually going to hook your boy up with some 'bodacious babe' and even if he tried I doubt Reid would actually go through with it. Just calm down and give yourself time to figure this out properly.” He took a casual sip of his coffee and grimaced, obviously not impressed with the blend, before finally turning to face Aaron with raised eyebrows.


Aaron sighed and frowned, forcing himself to relax, “What do you care anyway?”


Rossi shrugged, “All work and no play makes Aaron a very dull boy, and since you're one of my friends you being dull isn't pleasant for me. You'd gotten yourself into a bit of a rut, and that isn't good for any of us.”


Aaron blinked, slightly insulted but forced himself to focus back on the scene before them. And an hour later it was surprisingly Spencer who was able to wrangle a confession from the burly man across the table and Aaron felt an irrational surge of pride and couldn't suppress the grin he sent the younger mans way. The relaxed smile he received in return caused his heart to do an irrational flip and he felt a pleasant burn somewhere in the vicinity of his gut; the contented feeling lasted until he swung by to pick up Jack that evening from Jessica's and he picked up his young son and felt a brief flash of guilt.


Rossi was right, he needed to actually spend time thinking about this. Aaron couldn't go rushing into things blindly anymore, he wasn't alone in the world. So that evening was spent cradling a subdued Jack against his chest and watching a string of Disney movies that Hotch didn't bother to pay attention to. And when he finally forced himself to wake the dozing Jack to get changed and go to sleep in his actual bed Aaron found himself lingering in his sons room, watching him sleep and softly running a hand over his feather soft hair wondering how it would effect Jack if he ever had anyone else in his life.


Aaron had truly loved Haley, she'd been his best friend and the love of his life for far longer than she hadn't; and he briefly wondered what she'd have thought about the situation. He shook his head and forced himself to go to his own bed.


There was soft sigh and Aaron smiled as he gave another soft bite to the bony shoulder blade before allowing himself to nuzzle gently at the base of the graceful neck and inhale the smell of the other mans hair. He heard a soft whimper as his hands moved up and around the lithe body and found his partner's chest, Aaron's grin grew as he heard another louder whimper when he allowed his hands to begin to play...


This time Aaron floated back to consciousness with a lazy smile, before it hit him that he'd just had the forth explicit dream in as many days. He winced slightly and realized he really needed a shower.


That day he found himself spending more time thinking, than actually getting paperwork done. He noticed Morgan, Garcia and Spencer leave for their normal mid-morning coffee break. He also noticed that as they came back into the bullpen Spencer looked upset and he forced himself to focus on his paperwork for a while, or course that hardly lasted until he saw Spencer briefly visit Morgan's office and leave looking if anything more upset. And Aaron felt himself tense up before standing and exiting his office; he stood in Morgan's doorway sending the younger man a glare until he was satisfied that Morgan was calling Garcia to fix it, before continuing to Rossi's office.


His friend hardly looked up as Aaron slumped down into the chair, “I have no idea what to do.”


Rossi looked up at him from his paperwork, “About Reid?” Aaron gave a miserable nod and Rossi raised an eyebrow, “What's to do? Just tell him or don't.”


Aaron glared at him, “That's just a bit of an oversimplification.”


Rossi gave him a small ironic smile, “Well obviously the fact that he's a man isn't bothering you, and no one that matters would care since you aren't technically his boss at the moment. So the worst that could happen is he says no, and if he's going to say no it's best to get that out of the way quickly.”


He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “But what if...what if he's y'know...straight. It seems a bit unfair to just assume he's interested in guys.”


Rossi heaved a sigh, “Seriously? Even if he isn't that kid isn't going to hold it against you, he's too damn nice for that.”


Aaron sighed and made his way back to his office to finish his paperwork. He'd figure it out if it was the last thing he did, he glanced down again with a sigh and saw a much happier Spencer rejoin the bullpen. Their gazes met briefly and Aaron felt himself smile, the younger man sent him a grin in return and the now familiar contentment settled over him like a blanket and he continued to smile as he finished his paperwork.


That night he sat with Jack again and as they watched Finding Nemo yet again he promised himself he'd find a way to make it all work. He knew it wouldn't be as simple as David kept saying it would be, but he'd figure it out. He'd always gone after what he wanted, and now that he knew what he wanted he'd make it work.


True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

~Erich Segal

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Tags: criminal minds, definitively, hotch/reid

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